by Kelly Beischel PhD, RN, CNE

Teachers are everywhere.

Teresa and KellyOne doesn’t need a doctoral degree to acquire wisdom nor dispense it. And for certain, some of the most important life lessons are taught outside of classrooms.

I’ve learned some important lessons from an extraordinary person, a teacher about life.

When I first wrote this article a year and a half ago,

I had just come home from my sister-in-law, Teresa’s funeral. She was a person who lived vibrantly and taught me much.

For 20 years, we marveled about being married to Beischel men, told stories about our children, sought advice from one another and laughed about our ever-changing hairstyles – color and all.

My heart was heavy

I’d lost the mother of my beautiful nieces, the wife of my gentle brother-in-law, and the aunt who was ever-ready to laugh with my children. Teresa was just 53 years young.

My thoughts are filled with Teresa this week, her birthday week.

As I’ve reflected this week on what I’ve learned from having known and loved this woman, it came to me. These are strategies for living an authentic life. A life that has meaning.

10 Strategies on Living an Authentic Life

1. INDIVIDUALITY

Teresa did not worry about what others thought. She would laugh when I expressed worries about trivial things (usually something to do with my vanity) and encouraged me to be my own person. No apologies accepted.

2.  BE

She knew how to BE present. She taught me to drop the hurriedness and to just BE, to take in what’s in front of me. Admittedly, I still have to work on this each day.

3. HOPE

She fought the good fight and hope was the catalyst. I will carry her torch and strive to instill hope in others.

4. ACT

I’m often prompted from within to act on a feeling I’m experiencing. In the past I chose to ignore these strong, even overwhelming feelings to act.

I’m thankful that I acted on the prompt I received from within to reach out to Teresa 3 months prior to her death. From this, I learned it’s important to listen.

Lean in. Take action. It makes all the difference.

5. PLAN

It’s important to make plans to develop relationships. In the midst of busy-ness, weeks can slip past without notice. Our plan may just be a reminder in our calendar to make a phone call.

I will be forever grateful that I wrote “Call Teresa” reminders in my planner, reminders to tell her she was loved.

Make your plan for developing relationships. Put it in your planner. And do it. You’ll be glad you did.

6. CALL

It’s okay to call a person who’s dying. For so long, I was afraid of bothering her, thinking, “What could I possibly have to say of importance to her?” I was also afraid of waking her.

But when I told Teresa my worries, she said, “Call me whenever you want to talk and I’ll answer if I can.”

The week before she died, Teresa returned one of my calls and said, somewhat breathless, “It’s good to hear your voice, even if it’s on voice mail.”

Reach out. Make that call. Even when it’s uncomfortable.

7. COMFORT

There are times in a nursing career when our skills at inserting an IV or palpating pulses are meaningless. And times when offering patients’ comfort such as a hug, a touch, a listening ear, or our presence is everything.

It’s important to teach students that these gestures are sometimes the most useful tools they will have in their toolbox. Offering comfort and serving others are what matters.

8. CONTROL

As mothers, we often act as though we hold the only key that unlocks the magic of caregiving. We erroneously think we are THE supreme caregiver. And that our husbands couldn’t possibly do the job as well as we can.

Teresa relinquished the idea that she knew best from the time her girls were little. She made room for her husband, Chuck, to be a consummate caregiver.

Chuck, now a single dad, is parenting his two teenage girls with few hiccups. Little did she know, this was actually preparation for the role in which one day he would be thrust. Relinquish control.

9. LIVE

As far as I know we have only one life to live. Teresa lived hers to the fullest. She had a zest for life. In all its elements. And when she was tired, she napped. Napping is amazingly rejuvenating and so good for us.

While I have always known this to be true, Teresa taught me to relish naps like I relish recreation. Again, no apologies accepted. 🙂

10. ADVENTURE

Teresa loved to experiment with new recipes, try new foods, new tastes. New adventures. I admired her willingness to pair foods audaciously, to savor wine on her tongue, and to eat chocolate with guilt free delight.

Be adventurous. Try it. You may like it.

 

My Pledge

  • I will continue to honor Teresa by embracing each birthday.
  • I will continue to exercise with gratitude for a strong and healthy body.
  • I will remember to live life with zest and without apologies.
  • I will remember to savor life and all that it has to offer.
  • I will continually re-dedicate myself to my marriage in honor of Teresa and Chuck who’ve missed out on the opportunity to grow old together.

Thank you Teresa for being such a beautiful teacher.

What are your strategies for living an authentic life?

Comment below about your strategies for living authentically for a chance to win a copy of Louder than Words: Developing Your Authentic Voice autographed by the author. Let’s learn from one another.