by Kelly Beischel PhD, RN, CNE

Have you ever had a negative thought?

Felt like having a pity party because you were in overwhelm? It happens to the best of us, you know. The good news? There’s relief ahead. Just a few weeks ago I was mired in negative thoughts.

I was tired of our weather in Cincinnati. I missed the sun. I was scrambling to catch students up after so many cancelled classes all while teaching in overload. I was feeling downright overwhelmed and exhausted.

In the midst of my pity party,

I received an email from Brooke Castillo, author and coach. Brooke teaches in Self-Coaching 101 that our circumstances trigger our thoughts, thoughts cause feelings, feelings cause actions, and actions cause results. These results become evidence for our thoughts.

The funny thing is I subscribe to this theory and have seen it play out in my own life innumerable times.  I even coach my students using this model! Yet, there I was having a pity party – complete with party hats, balloons and horns.

In Brooke’s email she wrote, “There’s no such thing as a rough day or a hard day or a bad day.”

My next thought? “Ok now you’ve gone over the edge with this Pollyanna crap! I don’t know about you Brooke but I’ve been having a rough patch of days – I’ve traveled to South Carolina to attend my sister-in-laws funeral. We haven’t had sunshine in too many days to count. There’s ice everywhere and I’m clambering around trying to make up cancelled hours in the classroom. All the while I’m trying to get a manuscript out the door.”

The email even boasted a freaking picture of her teaching a webinar at her kitchen counter. (Brooke lives in sunny California, by the way.)

But…. the next sentence changed everything.

“There are only days when we have crappy thoughts and days when we have amazing thoughts.”

With this, I laughed aloud and almost fell off the treadmill. I laughed… not from a place of sarcasm but from a place of delight. It was so glaringly obvious. My crappy thoughts were the problem. Not the weather.

“The power is within us to make decisions about our day and most importantly, we have power over our thoughts all day, every day.” ~Brooke Castillo

Allowing the day to just happen to us as though we have no power puts us in the role of victim. Not a very attractive role.

Claim and Reframe

We need to claim our thoughts and reframe them. Reframe the thought by changing it into a positive statement. You can also reframe the thought by asking yourself a solution-seeking question, putting you in a place of action.

This is how I reframed my thoughts this semester:

Negative thought: Cancelling classes has wrecked my course schedule.
Reframed thought: The weather has offered me an opportunity to re-look at my topical outline, to reevaluate the flow of the course.

Negative thought: Yikes, I’m missing face to face class time with my students.
Reframed thought: This affords me the chance to discover new platforms (discussion board, audio, webinars) to teach the material.

Negative thought: There’s too much material; I’ll never get caught up.
Reframed thought: What material can I release? Am I teaching need to know or nice to know? (You and I both know that there was too much material before the snow hit.)

Negative thought: I’m tired because they have me teaching in overload. This sucks.
Reframed thought: What systems can I put in place to lighten my load?

Negative thought: I’ll never get this manuscript written.
Reframed thought: I’ll commit to 30 minutes of writing each day.

Reframing your thoughts is the ultimate producer of positive action, relieving you of starring in the role of victim.

Try it today. Join me in taking off your pity party hat and reframe just one thought. See how that feels, see what happens.

I’d love to hear how you reframe your thoughts.